Mutual Understanding of Problem

• Nature and extent of the problem How serious is it? How much does it involve?
• Why it is an issue What are the root causes of the problem? Why does it bother this person?
• How it affects the offended party What is my conduct doing to a brother or sister in Christ?

There needs to be a full understanding of the problem. The solution can't be sound if the problem isn't understood.

Both parties agree matter discussed sufficiently

All relevant, appropriate components of the matter should be allowed to surface. No one should be cut short, or shortchanged in the resolution process. Healthy discussion of important issues is a fundamental component of love. This is a key application of treating one another in a compassionate and understanding way. There needs to be closure on discussion as well as in the solution.

Steps agreed upon to solve the problem

Change is the goal of every conflict-discussion. Without a plan for remedying the situation, the discussion may be little more than unproductive quarreling and bickering. Everything in the discussion should be aimed towards this goal.

If possible the one doing the confronting should try to volunteer something that might contribute to the solution. In this way humility is exercised and both parties have things to work on.

Forgiveness (restoration)

There can be no resolution of the problem if there is no resolution of any breach of the relationship.

Closure

If the matter is settled then the case is closed and must stay closed. There is a parallel analogy in the way God forgives us. When we are forgiven, there is closure. God never reproached anyone for past forgiven sins, and neither should we.

We are to be imitators of God in this!

©1998 Internet Biblical Resources
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